Blowing off Steam

We all occasionally succumb to the tempest within, part of being human is sometimes becoming angry. Expressing vexation in a healthy way is beneficial, the ability to release pent up anger and frustration in a constructive way with yoga, meditation an engaging hobby or sport enables us to positively redirect the stress which causes anger. In the challenge of the World Wide lock-down people with mood disorder and anger issues are finding their problems being exacerbated.

Keeping a cool head when feeling isolated and trapped in a situation over which you have no control can be extremely difficult, it can bring you face to face with your Demon Temper. If this is happening to you the most important is that you channel your energy into something that calms your anger and helps you to constructively deal with your situation. Life is tough at the moment and the most even tempered of us is finding the uncertainty hard to deal with, so if you suffer with an anger disorder do your very best to deal with your anger rather than it, dealing with you.   

” Acting out and blowing off steam because of a bad mood is commonplace!”

Acting out and blowing off steam because of a bad mood is commonplace, quite frankly in that moment when temper flares caring about how your anger affects others is most of the time not a consideration! The unfortunate truth is that the person most privy to a temper tantrum such as this is someone close. No matter what variance anger takes whether it is passive aggressive or blatantly aggressive, taking responsibility for your anger is crucial otherwise one runs the risk of projecting it on to some innocent party such as a partner, child, co-worker, or even a pet. How often has the family pet ended up the brunt of someone’s anger?  Projecting anger onto others causes misunderstanding, malcontent, and communication breakdown.

Divorce statistics are full of couples who were unable to interact with one another with nothing but anger and dissension. Many of these self same people came into the marriage with anger issues rooted in their past. These married couples point fingers at one another when in reality their partner merely reflects back to them an issue left long unresolved within their own history. It is commonplace to bring childhood anger issues into a marriage.

Many anger issues start in early childhood, but we are generally never schooled in how to deal with anger.  We are taught as children anger is a Bad emotion it is Dangerous to become angry. Many parents deliberately teach their children to suppress their anger under threat. “Don’t talk back to me or I’ll slap you”  “Do as I say or you’ve had it” “Children are to be seen not heard”.  Being subjected to this kind of parenting blunder often creates misunderstood naughty children, and later angry frustrated adults. In being denied the right to express anger in childhood we never learn how to rid ourselves of this angry feeling as adults.  We project blame onto one another, scream and shout often not knowing why certain triggers, make us blow our top.

Anger issues gone unresolved can be dangerous. An individual with a violent unchecked temper puts themselves at high risk daily. An unchecked violent temper can cause hypertension, depression and heart trouble. In a fit of extreme anger an individual with a violent temper is capable of physical assault, property damage and far worse; some individuals even report black out and loss of memory after a fit of extreme temper.

Another form of anger with growing statistics is Road Rage. Have you ever had a fellow driver make you Mad as Hell? The incidence of road rage in our society is ever increasing. There you are driving down the road on a Friday afternoon and suddenly you are confronted with Mad Max.  In severe cases road rage causes serious accidents, property damage, bodily harm, and even death. These people are mad as hell at what or who they probably don’t know themselves. The sad truth is anyone can suffer from road rage. It is not a condition exclusive to class or education. There are many intelligent professional people who have succumbed to their temper in a car. 

Living with someone who has a violent temper is difficult, and when that person has an episode it can be terrifying. One can never be sure where it really started or how it will end. When someone with a violent temper explodes anything can happen. Many a case of assault, wife beating, husband beating and child abuse are the result of a violent fit of temper. While one individual’s temper runs unbridled through an entire household, the other unfortunates are held hostage by this person’s fury. It is a dreadful way to live. 

If you are someone suffering from a violent temper it is crucial that you take responsibility and seek help. Those are the first two steps to regaining control of your life. Healing begins with you and your willingness to embrace all parts of yourself without judgement. Acting badly does not make you a bad person. Many good people do Bad things when they lose their temper.  The important questions here are simply, are you willing to take accountability and source the pain that makes you aggressive? Are you willing to seek healing? If the answer is yes to these questions then please read further. The first step toward healing always begins with you, and the willingness to take responsibility for your temper and your behaviour.  

Anger management is never easy especially if one is very reactive, so what is the solution for the person who is the victim of his or her own temper? What can you do to help yourself?

Firstly find a counsellor or psychologist you trust and talk about it, secondly find a hobby or interest that helps you to de-stress and thirdly Forgive Yourself. With a violent temper comes shame which compounds the feeling of self loathing. Always remember healing comes with time and the willingness to embrace your shadow and bring it into the light.

God bless you and enjoy your day!

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