One of the fundamental laws of the Universe is the law of forgiveness. It is said to be the highest act of compassion and a Divine commandment.
When someone has hurt you deeply, to forgive them can seem impossible. What I have personally learned about forgiveness is that it is a process, and we never forgive for the one who wounded us, we forgive for ourselves. We forgive to release ourselves from the malice and anger that contaminates and distorts our thoughts and feelings.
All the Great Masters and Philosophers have spoken of forgiveness.
“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, and do good to them that hate you,”
“For if you Forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also Forgive you,” Jesus Christ.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong” Mahatma Gandhi.
“There is no Love without Forgiveness, and there is no Forgiveness without Love” Bryant H. Mc Gill.
To forgive someone who has really hurt you is one of the most poignant challenges you will ever face. Why is it so difficult to forgive someone who has truly threatened or injured you? Simply because the primal part of the brain is hardwired to defend and eliminate any serious threat or danger. For that part of the brain survival of life and limb is the prime directive.
When someone hurts you to the point that you feel at risk or in danger, the primal you, the breathing, blinking reactive part of you takes over, and unfortunately that part of the brain is not programmed to forgive. It is programmed to eradicate danger in any way it can. That part of who you are simply does not understand forgiveness.
The primal brain’s involuntary response to any danger is to protect through escape or defensive action. To forgive implies reason, the ability to forget the suffering, and to see the instrument of danger as no longer menacing or threatening. The primal brain lacks the ability to reason once it has experienced trauma, or an emotional or physical threat to forgive and forget is extremely difficult. To achieve forgiveness we look to the more evolved parts of the Psyche.
As God’s highest form of Earthly Creation he has gifted us with the Power of Reason. We as mankind have something the other Creatures of this Earth do not have; we have a brain with the ability to think both analytically and rationally. The Divine intelligence that links us directly to Source gives us the ability to love both with human emotions and higher emotions. This enables us to feel compassion for one another, and for our fellow creatures. This divine connection gives us the capacity and desire to strive for higher ideals, and enables us to rise above trauma, anger and emotional pain. This special connection to God intelligence enables us to forgive through Divine Grace.
Alexander Pope wrote in his Essay on Criticism, “To err is human to forgive divine”. When another person has hurt you to the point that you feel you absolutely cannot forgive them it is so important to step out of your reactive mind and begin to interact with the part of your consciousness that resonates with compassion. Forgiveness has a lot to do with self forgiveness. The pivotal questions we always ask are, “did I unthinkingly let this happen?” “Or, was it my fault I was treated so badly?”
The answer to both questions is yes and no. Any interaction you have with another person or any life experience comes through attraction whether it is conscious or subconscious. We attract and manifest everything in our lives that includes that disgusting abusive ex-husband or wife. However when the bitterness of dealing with past hurts caused by relationships escalates to the point that it begins to steal your happiness, and corrupt your joy it’s time to reassess; through engaging with your inner divinity and confirming the willingness to heal you begin the process of forgiveness by giving your pain over to a higher power. This leads you to the highest expression of love Compassion.
Forgiveness never means you condone the bad behavior of others, it simply means you release the burden of toxic resentment. Be honest about how you feel, find a good counselor, and talk about your feelings. Speaking to friends can also help, but if you feel you simply cannot overcome the anger and pain someone has caused you it is always better to find a professional with whom you resonate and speak to them.
Whatever you do, don’t blame the other person for your pain and unhappiness. By taking responsibility for your pain you have a greater possibility to resolve your anger and heal yourself. Always remember forgiveness is a process, and a practice that promotes your inner growth not the other persons.
Prayer and meditation connect us to Divine Grace giving the possibility to resonate with compassion and truly forgive. The act of Forgiveness always connects us to higher love and inner peace.
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